and　preachers　despise　us　dogs。　In　my　opinion；　the　whole　matter　concerns　our

revered　Prophet　Muhammad；　peace　and　blessings　be　upon　him；　who　cut　off　a

piece　of　his　robe　upon　which　a　cat　lay　sleeping　rather　than　wake　the　beast。　By

pointing out this affection shown to the cat； which has incidentally been

denied　to　us　dogs；　and　due　to　our　eternal　feud　with　this　feline　beast；　which

even the stupidest of men recognizes as an ingrate； people have tried to

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intimate　that　the　Prophet　himself　disliked　dogs。　They’re　convinced　that　we’ll

defile those who have performed ritual ablutions； and the result of this

erroneous　and　slanderous　belief　is　that　we’ve　been　barred　from　mosques　for

centuries and have suffered beatings in their courtyards from broomstick…

wielding　caretakers。

Allow　me　to　remind　you　of　“The　Cave；”　the　most　beautiful　of　the　Koran’s

chapters。 I’m reminding you not because I suspect there may be those who

never　read　the　Koran　among　us　in　this　good　coffeehouse；　but　because　I　want

to　refresh　your　memories：　This　chapter　recounts　the　story　of　the　seven　youths

who　grow　tired　of　living　among　pagans　and　take　refuge　in　a　cave　where　they

enter　a　deep　sleep。　Allah　then　seals　their　ears　and　causes　them　to　doze　off　for

exactly　three　hundred　and　nine　years。　When　they　awake；　they　learn　just　how

many　yea