； a worm of doubt was

anxiously gnawing at me。 You know where I was while my father was being

murdered。　To　further　my　own　designs；　I’d　cleared　the　house　of　Hayriye　and　the

children。 You know that leaving my father alone in the house was an

unforeseen　coincidence…But　did　Hayriye　know？　Did　she　prehend　what　I’d

explained to her； will she understand？ Indeed； yes； she’d quickly understand

and　grow　suspicious。　I　hugged　her　even　tighter；　but　I　knew　that　with　her　slave

girl’s mind she’d assume I was doing this to cover up my wiles； and before

long　even　I　felt　as　if　I　were　deceiving　her。　While　my　father　was　being　murdered

here；　I　was　with　Black　engaged　in　an　act　of　lovemaking。　If　it　were　only　Hayriye

who knew this； I wouldn’t feel as guilty； but I suspect that you might make

something　of　it　as　well。　So；　admit　it；　you　believe　that　I’m　hiding　something。

Alas；　poor　woman！　Could　my　fate　be　any　darker？　I　began　to　cry；　then　Hayriye

cried；　and　we　embraced　again。

I　pretended　to　satisfy　my　hunger　at　the　table　we’d　set　upstairs。　From　time

to　time；　with　the　excuse　of　“checking　on　Grandfather；”　I　would　step　into　the

other　room　and　burst　into　tears。　Later　because　the　children　were　scared　and

agitated； they snuggled up tightly next to me in bed。 For a long while they

were　unable　to　sleep　for　fe