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第4部分

st。

During my walks; which grow increasingly longer due to my restlessness; I

e face…to…face occasionally with one of our most pure and innocent

religious countrymen; and a strange notion suddenly enters my head: If I think

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about the fact that I’m a murderer; the man before me will read it on my face。

Therefore; I force myself to think of different things; just as I forced myself;

writhing in embarrassment; to banish thoughts of women when performing

prayers as an adolescent。 But unlike those days of youthful fits when I couldn’t

get the act of copulation out of my thoughts; now; I can indeed forget the

murder that I’ve mitted。

You realize; in fact; that I’m explaining all these things because they relate

to my predicament。 But if I were to divulge even one detail related to the

killing itself; you’d figure it all out and this would relieve me from being a

nameless; faceless murderer roaming among you like an apparition and

relegate me to the status of an ordinary; confessed criminal who has given

himself up; soon to pay for his crime with his head。 Give me the license not to

dwell on every single detail; allow me to keep some clues to myself: Try to

discover who I am from my choice of words and colors; as attentive people like

yourselves might